I was a kid, probably in my kindergartens when my dad bought me my first battery-operated doll. I don’t know if I was ever into dolls that much but somehow papa always gifted me a barbie on my every birthday, even when i was a teenager. It was kind of a tradition back then. A barbie from every nook of the world.
I just saw that little dollie lying in my closet and I picked it up. To my surprise, the moment I picked her, I could feel the touch of my father. The affection , the care, the love he always had for me and the touch! Yes, that touch lingered with me for a little while and I was taken down the memory lane.
My doll is bit withered with time now. Rusted batteries, old dirty clothes, lost charm yet there is something about it that has always attracted me. I guess it’s the smile. I can completely resonate with her. With every passing time, i am losing my inner child, my innocence, my charm and a bit of myself to s blackhole. But there’s always a smile that I wear to make myself believe that everything is going to be alright.
But, the truth is that there’s a gnawing hollowness in my heart, that I know i’ll have to learn how to live with. The emptiness around me and within me eats me from inside but that’s exactly when one fights against all odds and bounce back with full thrust. Because even with all the emptiness, I know you’re always there to protect your little girl. Nothing anyone said matter, no problem was big enough, everyday was full of laughter when you were around. We miss you papa. I know you’re not here anymore. But you live in me, in every bit of the house, every thing you ever touched, your clothes that still smell of you, your wrist watch that still hold close. Every morning I wish and pray that both your kids make you proud and take your name to a new high. You shall always live in our hearts forever.
I love you papa